Last week...

Well, I have been struggling with rather or not I should put up this post. I am, by nature, a pretty private person. Like most people, I can easily share when things in life are all roses & sunshine, but when I am struggling I tend to hide out & keep it all to myself. I realize that this is not always the most healthy thing to do, but at the same time I don't want to just spill my guts to anyone & everyone. So, in thinking about all this (probably a little too much) I have decided to post it. I think sometimes we are really reluctant to let everyone know that we struggle, fail or suffer loss. At least I am, somehow I often feel embarrassed by these things. I realize that I shouldn't but again, it's something I am working on. I am always a work in progress!

Last Tuesday Craig & I lost our sweet little baby. I was almost 3 months along & was feeling good. Confident in the pregnancy & excited to add to our family. Never in my life did I even imagine that I would walk through this. I went to bed on Monday night with a pit in my stomach. I just knew something wasn't right. Nothing was wrong except for the horrible feeling I had. We prayed & went to sleep. I woke on Tuesday & started my day. Within an hour of being awake I realized that I was miscarrying. I went to the doctor & he confirmed what we already knew. Needless to say that Tuesday was a sad & difficult day. I have cried more than I thought I could & have felt sick to my stomach for days now. In these times I am especially thankful for God. He carries us in these times & surrounds us with love. It has been the toughest week that Craig & I have shared together. I am so thankful for my husband. It's so wonderful to know that God has brought us together to walk through this life, through the good & the bad.

So, here I am with a million questions, a million emotions & a whole lot of trust in my heavenly Father. What else can I do? This is my choice, to trust God no matter how hard it is, no matter how much I don't understand. God gave me a picture on Tuesday night of Him holding our tiny & precious little one in His arms. This spoke to my heart & I know that even though I can't hold our little one, He will. I know that time really does heal all wounds & that we will be ok. Praise God for His promises & His love that carries us through. Thank you for listening :)